I am not a pig, I am not a Pug.
My ears haven’t been cropped,
My tail hasn’t been docked.
I didn’t run into a wall or get hit with a fry pan,
I do not bite,
but my owner is another matter altogether.
That noise is how I breathe—I am not
growling at your child.
I’m not so ugly I’m almost cute,
and anyone who says that is so stupid they're
almost smart.
I am a French Bulldog
and I am perfect in every way!

-Author Unknown